I have lost me…

I got to thinking the other day and let me tell you…ohmebegez. Once I start it doesn’t stop for like three days – promise.

So I was pondering all the work I am attempting to put into my edits as I keep getting non-stop ideas (like volcano eruption – just keep writing until it crusts up). Then I also love and mean totally LOVE to beta read for people. I read and try to keep a blog. (as you can see) I am trying to twitter and email and network and keep up with where I started on Writer’s Digest…

Then there’s the peanuts football practices Monday, Tuesday, & Thursday nights. Volleyball games Tuesday & Thursday nights. Football games – J.V., Varsity and Peanuts – Monday, Friday Nights & Saturdays.  No joke!

So here it is the second week of school and already it looks like the only night we don’t have sports is tonight – WEDNESDAY – fabulous Wednesday night. As I look at trying to edit so that I can actually …maybe one day send my manuscript out to shop for an agent. Beta reading, writing, blogging, following blogs, tweeting, following tweets, and worrying about my following – “Am I entertaining enough?”

I’m so caught up in building a platform that I am losing me. Not to mention that my routine is a little insane and after sports I still have to check homework before I can play with my friends.

I just want to say ‘hang in there’. I’m not complaining or making excuses. I LOVE MY LIFE. It’s just a little bumpy like every one else’s. We all have our moments. Up, down, happy, sad, frustrated, or just plain pissed off.  We’re all human – but I don’t have to tell you that right? Ahem! Right?? Kidding.

However, my brain got a little rattled…okay. A lot. But it will get a jump start and back into action very soon. More ideas are getting thrown to paper so maybe they will show up here. Who knows. Until then, take care of you.

What makes a title?

I’m sure that many of you have been through this before and are still struggling with this now.  How do you find the perfect title for you manuscript?  You have just spent so much time, weeks, months, even years working on perfecting your most treasured work…now what do you call it?

Where do you get inspiration for a name for your book? Where do you look for a name? Does it just come to you easily or are you someone who struggles with it?  I know that they say sometimes when you sign with a publisher that when they read your manuscript, they may want to make changes and may want to change the name. Can you live with that?

I mean that I have around six to seven WIPs…some I have titled. But I don’t know if they are solid titles. I know that there are some that I feel very strongly about and some I am mediocre about because I need to differentiate my works because I would be completely confused if I called them all untitled…lol.

Some titles come to me in my sleep or during the middle of the day. I have even just been listening to music and a title comes to mind. Sometimes I come up with titles that have nothing to do with any of the WIPs that I am writing but I write them down …just in case.

So tell me, where do you get your inspiration for a title?

Mind in Many Places

I apologize to many of you if my mind is in many places and I do not seem on my game.

My momma is having surgery today. She is having a port put in her arm for dialysis because she is going to have to do it again because her kidneys are just about shot. And they are fixing a hernia that she received when she had to have a feeding tube in her stomach.

Momma had a heart attack a couple years ago and went down hill to where they put in stints to open blocked arteries in her heart and eventually did a valve replacement. Through the process she got an infection and it spread throughout her body-- when to her brain causing lesions and her spine turning parts of it to mush causing her to be bed ridden for 10 months. We almost lost her twice because she also has COPD and has congestive heart failure to where she would just fill up with fluid.

I took care of her for those two years that it took to get her up and running again and it took and emotional, physical toll on me. I had to take her to dialysis twice a week and be at her beckon call when my father and nephew couldn't take care of her. My sisters didn't live in the same town so they were not much help.

I wore down and I have been worried that with another procedure that she may get sick again. I know she needs the port in order for dialysis to remedy the kidney issue for a time, but all I ask is that all of you keep her in your prayers today.

So if I am sporadic, random, lost, brainless or anything else. I apologize. I do try my best to stay connected to the real world outside. Sometimes it is just really hard to do. Ok, sorry for the rambles. Everyone have a wonderful weekend and I hope to talk to you next week. Thank you and take care of you.

BETA READERS FOUND!!

Ok everyone, I promised to talk about beta readers. I have a few and I have a place where you can find them. My friend Nathalie from Writer's Digest has just started a new community for you to join if you are looking for beta readers to look over your work. Go to Writer's Digest and join Beta Reader Central.

I promise that you won't be disappointed that you join and have others read your work and give you insight. It will be fun and you will meet new people. So go--Yes, I mean RIGHT NOW!! Get your ass moving. Sign up and help an aspiring writer out.

I read all genres. I don't care, as long as I can help someone else out. I am there, come find me. I would be honored to beta read for anyone. You never know, one day, I could be asking you for a signed copy reminding you that I once beta read for you and that even though you didn't take any of my advice...I was there for you. lol

Anyway, I think that it has been a wonderful experience for me so far and I am enjoying it more and more every day that I do it and hope to get to meet more people and read more work. It does give you a break from your own work and then puts me back into the mode where I feel I can make my MS worth reading. Sometimes it is good to hear what a reader thinks since they may be the one that picks it up in the store someday. IMPORTANT!

What is your sanity?

I often wonder how my days fly by without me even knowing where the time goes.
Example.

Yesterday.
Wake up and get ready for work - get kids off to school.
Go to work and work on items throughout the day until my lunch hour.
Lunch hour I leave for a doctor's appointment.
Get done from doctor get back to work late.
Leave work at closing time, pick up boys and drop them off home.
Go to town to pick up a prescription and visit with mother -in- law.
Leave her town to drive back home.
Go to pharmacy to fill prescription.
Get home fix dinner, help kindergartener with homework.
Eat dinner and then go to bed by nine.

Then wonder why I don't have time to write when I want. I have to stay up uber late to get anything accomplished. Days vary with tasks that need accomplished after work. Groceries, sporting events, programs to attend, etc. Sometimes balance is not always achieved, but that is the consequence of the beast of family and career and writing hobby. Yes writing is classified as a hobby for now because I cannot devote enough time to it to pay the bills. I will never give this hobby up because it is also my sanity. It keeps me grounded and helps me escape when I need to from time to time. I can go to another world and become another person for a little while before I have to step back into my shoes. I love my life and would not change it for the world, but sometimes we all need a little distraction and writing is a wonderful distraction for me. It is my survival technique. Many of us have them for different aspects of our lives to overcome and prevail. So for those of you writers out there, keep writing. I believe in you and your abilities.

Something that you dislike about yourself?

Here I am working with creative writing prompts trying to find out how to become a better writer. Here is the first one that I am going to work on today. Something that I dislike about myself. Now this could be a real treat to those of you who know me and could probably help me name more than a dozen things. However, I have to do this one on my own. I feel a bit squeamish to do this to myself.

One of the things that I dislike about myself is my honesty to myself about my talent toward my craft. I can delude myself into thinking that I am a brilliant writer one day and then the next tell myself that I should never pick up a pen again. This is a self conflicting battle that I am sure many of us face on a daily basis. I do not lack the courage to do what I love, but lack the courage to put myself out there for others to judge from time to time.

That is why I find it so hard to post anything in forums. I know that there are people out there willing to help me but I get myself so worked up about what they are going to tear apart of the work that I love so much. I have to remind myself that it is only their opinion and that not all opinions are the same either. So one person may hate my character, story line and perhaps my entire book; but for that person out there that dislikes my work there may be one that appreciates it.

I lack the faith in myself to see what others have to say about my work. I am not worried about anyone stealing my ideas. Just that I am not ready to be judged. With that said I read posts all the time and cannot judge anyone else because I have no authority to judge them. I am no agent, editor, or publisher to tell them whether or not their book is any good. I can only tell them if I can relate to it or not. I see how easy it is for others to go into detail telling others what to change or where to move paragraphs and I just read it thinking to myself that there is no way that I could have thought of that.

So my lack of faith in myself and the ability to do my craft is what I need to work on and plan to work on as I work on self discovery as I continue working on my manuscripts and story ideas and maintain my life the best that I can.