Post Apocalyptic Meltdown

The Apocalypse is on hold and Christmas is coming. So far, I think that I have completed all of my Christmas shopping and am working on something that has been gathering dust in the drawer for some time. One of my finished manuscripts UNSETTLED that needs lots of TLC and editing.

I have been working on it for several hours and can't believe that I thought it would pass as a novel. WOW! I have made so many changes that I have been debating on either pulling out my hair or scrapping it altogether. I don't want to but I just don't feel like it is going anywhere. I still have great notes from some of my past beta readers - when I had time to write - and I appreciate how lenient they were with me and the fact that I can't write. *shaking head and laughing*

It doesn't bother me that I don't really feel that my writing is not up to par, what bothers me is that deep down, I do want to write and scribble occasionally here and there but can not commit to it. It deserves the commitment and I am just not giving it the love and support that it needs. I let life consume me and shut out my muse.

I keep opening the door for her to come back in for chats now and again and we have been sharing some really creative ideas. I just need to implement them. Again commitment is an issue. So I am going to try to push through this novel to make it the best that it can be and see where I am next year. I have not decided yet about any publishing options because I have read so many books this year...around 170.

Some of these books are self published and have editing issues. When I give a review, I don't dwell too much on those issues but like to help individuals know if it is something that they would like to read by the content. Sometimes I steam through a book so fast, that I forget what it is about. Does that say that I just don't focus on what I read or that it doesn't hold my attention? No matter. I try not to be negative about anyone's work, because at least they are out there doing what they love while I sit back and admire from afar...to chicken to jump in the water.

I really just wanted to touch base with everyone and tell them to keep typing out those words that have been inspired to hit paper and do what you love with a vengeance so that opportunities do not pass you by. I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and have a great 2013. I will be watching, praying and cheering you on while I muddle through my mental blocks!

Writers - YOU ROCK!!  I love reading your books as you publish them.

Bring me back to life.

I am stuck in a turbulent sea of thoughts that I cannot escape nor find how to process into full thoughts. It has been a six month lull. So far there is no clear way to go. I keep treading water …trying to keep my head above the rising waves before I drown but every day I am becoming more and more unsuccessful.

There are so many things that I want to do but am not dedicating the time to do them. I have diligently become more aware of the state of my health and have been participating in 5K’s, walk-jogs and even a physical fitness boot camp three days a week. Physically I am looking and feeling better and was hoping that this would help with the balance that I feel that I am missing.

I have included yoga to find my inner focus but it is slowly coming to me to want to participate in my writing. I know that I could have potential if I could just focus and put my mind to it, but the ADD side of me keeps getting distracted around every corner and look for a way out by losing myself in reading a book with a great cup of coffee.

There was a time that I would get up every day and look forward to grabbing a pen and paper and writing until I ran out of ink, because I never seem to run out of things to say – only how to put into words eludes me. I want to congratulate all of you that keep following your dreams. I see some of you finding publication and success and others finding the word counts keep coming. I am silently stalking you and dwell on the beauty of your passion for writing. You are writers, colleagues, friends… I know that someday my coast guards will come and fish me out of the ocean and help me row my boat with great intensity until my words have formed meaning.

I have challenged myself to NANOWRIMO. If I don’t try, then I have already failed.

There is a quote on my wall that I keep looking at and willing myself to follow it. It goes likes this:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

What do you want your destiny to be???

Creating Some Sanity

I wish that I could give anyone advice on how to do this task, but I actually have none. I am kind of out of things. Have you ever been on overload so much that everything is covered under a heavy layer of muck and you are looking at it, like holy cow, how am I going to clean up this mess? That seems to be me.

I have been attending to family matters for some time and have not made time for me or my writing. I have had a couple therapeutic hours of writing here and there, but nothing like my muse and brain were used to. I thought for sure when we took a vacation this March that I could relax and unwind and let my muse free. I tried, I really did but ended up shutting down even more.

The coolest part of my vacation was that they were shooting a movie in the hotel next to us and we got to see a few actual movie stars. They were shooting the movie "SPRING BREAKERS" staring Selena Gomez (who is super cute in person too) and Vanessa Hudgens (who is a blonde in the movie - I know right!). It was an experience watching them shoot scenes which lasted all day on the beach and at the pools.

My husband would say that the topless scenes were his favorite, but he's entitled to his opinion. Before some of you go ballistic, it was not the Disney girls topless, just some walk-ons or extras. It just made me realize that if it takes that long just to shoot a scene for a movie, then no wonder I can't get my books done. *whew* For a little while I was thinking that there was something wrong with me.

Well, there is but that is of personal opinion. ;) My parentals have been giving me a run for my money since August. My dad had a stroke and during the week that he was hospitalized for testing, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. So we got dad taken care of and scheduled mom a mastectomy. After dad was home and mom recovered from the surgery came the drains that were in after the mastectomy. After they took those out, then she started radiation. Finally that is finished and now she is going three times a week to dialysis because she has chronic kidney failure. My dad has now fallen twice in the last week and a half and I am just overloaded.

I haven't set my mind free to write and I feel that it is like Johnny Mnemonic, Keanu Reeve's character who can't get some images out of his mind and his brain is frying from the inside out. That is how my brain feels. Right now everything is poison and doesn't want to flow out very well. I am still working it out. As you can see, I haven't been around since January and I apologize for that. Life happens and you really don't get to control it. I have been working on a few things and would really like to revamp my blog. If anyone has any suggestions or sites for me to check out, please let me know.

You guys are truly wonderful and my inspiration to keep pushing through the muck!

Review: Unearthly

Unearthly by Cynthia Hand

Goodreads Blurb:

In the beginning, there's a boy standing in the trees . . . .

Clara Gardner has recently learned that she's part angel. Having angel blood run through her veins not only makes her smarter, stronger, and faster than humans (a word, she realizes, that no longer applies to her), but it means she has a purpose, something she was put on this earth to do. Figuring out what that is, though, isn't easy.

Her visions of a raging forest fire and an alluring stranger lead her to a new school in a new town. When she meets Christian, who turns out to be the boy of her dreams (literally), everything seems to fall into place—and out of place at the same time. Because there's another guy, Tucker, who appeals to Clara's less angelic side.

As Clara tries to find her way in a world she no longer understands, she encounters unseen dangers and choices she never thought she'd have to make—between honesty and deceit, love and duty, good and evil. When the fire from her vision finally ignites, will Clara be ready to face her destiny?

Unearthly is a moving tale of love and fate, and the struggle between following the rules and following your heart.

My Take:


My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Unearthly is one of those books that actually took me by surprise. Something fresh and intriguing at the same time. Clara is not your average teenager and when she finds her purpose, her family uproots and moves to the town in which is closest for her to fulfill her purpose.


The images are so vivid in her mind and all she can think about is her purpose and the boy she is sent to protect. What she doesn’t expect is having feelings for someone other than her purpose – Christian.


All she thinks about is Christian and when her purpose will come calling for her to save him, that she becomes very obsessed with him to the point where she thinks that she is falling in love with him. He is very polite and very handsome. Someone that you just can’t take your eyes off of.


When he goes out of state to take an internship for the Summer, Clara becomes lonely and knows that he is safe for now until he returns. While Clara is sulking through her summer vacation from school the unexpected happens. Her feeling develop for someone that she least expected and when it comes time to fulfill her purpose she feels torn on who to rescue…her purpose or her love?


Clara risks so much for her own happiness that it could be too late to fulfill her destiny. Watch things unfold for her as she watches her family evolve before her eyes as well and discovers some secrets that her mother refused to tell her.


YA Paranormal recommended.

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Review: Replication: The Jason Experiment

Replication: The Jason Experiment by Jill Williamson

Goodreads Blurb:

When Your Life Is Not Your Own

Martyr---otherwise known as Jason 3:3---is one of hundreds of clones kept in a remote facility called Jason Farms. Told that he has been created to save humanity, Martyr has just one wish before he is scheduled to 'expire' in less than a month. To see the sky.

Abby Goyer may have just moved to Alaska, but she has a feeling something strange is going on at the farm where her father works. But even this smart, confident girl could never have imagined what lies beneath a simple barn. Or what would happen when a mysterious boy shows up at her door, asking about the stars.

As the reality of the Jason Experiment comes to light, Martyr is caught between two futures---the one for which he was produced and the one Abby believes God created him to have. Time is running out, and Martyr must decide if a life with Abby is worth leaving everything he's ever known.

 My Take:

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I got the opportunity to review this book from Net Galley and instantly became enthralled in Martyr’s life. He is such a charismatic person or clone as he is and is becoming more of his own human than they imagined that he would. Being the best candidate, J:3:3 also known as Martyr is very special.


When Martyr takes it upon himself to see the sky before he expires for the greater good, he risks his live to go to the outside only to find that it is nothing that he could have ever imagined it to be. Martyr takes a journey into the world that he was not meant to experience. There, he meets Abby. When Abby first comes into contact with Martyr, she is thrown because of his resemblance to the high school hunk that has been hitting on her, J.D. Kane.


It amazes Abby how different Martyr is from J.D. Besides both being incredibly adorable, that is where the similarities end. Martyr is sensitive, kind, and gentle while J.D. is pushy, arrogant and mostly a jerk. It is hard for Abby to let Martyr go once she has decided to help him find a new purpose.


Both Abby and Martyr risk their lives to do the right thing and pray that they end up together. This book is highly recommended for YA lovers of a dystopian/Sci-Fy nature.

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Review: Vesper

Vesper by Jeff Sampson


Goodreads blurb:

Emily Webb is a geek. And she’s happy that way. Content hiding under hoodies and curling up to watch old horror flicks, she’s never been the kind of girl who sneaks out for midnight parties. And she’s definitely not the kind of girl who starts fights or flirts with other girls’ boyfriends. Until one night Emily finds herself doing exactly that . . . the same night one of her classmates—also named Emily—is found mysteriously murdered.

The thing is, Emily doesn’t know why she’s doing any of this. By day, she’s the same old boring Emily, but by night, she turns into a thrill seeker. With every nightfall, Emily gets wilder until it’s no longer just her personality that changes. Her body can do things it never could before: Emily is now strong, fast, and utterly fearless. And soon Emily realizes that she’s not just coming out of her shell . . . there’s something much bigger going on. Is she bewitched by the soul of the other, murdered Emily? Or is Emily Webb becoming something else entirely— something not human?

As Emily hunts for answers, she finds out that she’s not the only one this is happening to—some of her classmates are changing as well. Who is turning these teens into monsters—and how many people will they kill to get what they want?

 My rating: 3 of 5 stars

My Take:


I love the way Emily is slowly transforming from a geek into something more and not realizing what is going on at the time. It seems like it is a teenage thing when they go through stages but when she develops more of an attitude and carefree persona, she is really becoming worried. There are times that she find herself trying to leave her house without realizing why or where she intended to go.


There are terrible things happening around her small town and she has no idea what is bring all the death. When she becomes her most defiant, she finds that she is searching for one of her own because there is such a magnetic pull toward him that she is sure that he is considered her mate. She goes to all lengths to find him even stalking around his house.


What she also finds out is that she is not alone in her transformation process and that there are more students with some special qualities different from hers. Emily also discovers that someone is out there taking them out one by one. With her new surge of power, she is determined that she will be the one to take out the bad guy(s). As Emily finds her destiny and her hunters, she teams with the other Deviants as they are labeled and begins a new quest.


Highly recommended for YA Paranormal lovers.


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Review: The Unidentified

The Unidentified by Rae Mariz
Goodreads Blurb:
Kid knows her school’s corporate sponsors not-so-secretly monitor her friendships and activities for market research. It’s all a part of the Game; the alternative education system designed to use the addictive kick from video games to encourage academic learning. Everyday, a captive audience of students ages 13-17 enter the nationwide chain store-like Game locations to play. 

When a group calling themselves The Unidentified simulates a suicide to protest the power structure of their school, Kid’s investigation into their pranks attracts unwanted attention from the sponsors. As Kid finds out she doesn't have rights to her ideas, her privacy, or identity, she and her friends look for a way to revolt in a place where all acts of rebellion are just spun into the next new ad campaign.

My Take:
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this new book with such a great story line. It is another one to add to your read list if you enjoyed Matched or Possession. This is a rather intriguing situation that Kid has landed herself in.


Imagine if going to school were a game and your fashion, style, friends, interests and hype all determined your scores. If you get enough attention, you could even be sponsored. Most of the teenagers would love to be branded by a sponsor, but few get the opportunity.


Kid isn't one to stand out among the rest of the school's population but after something dramatic happens that she believes is the work of an outsider. Her investigation along with her best friend Mikey uncovers more than she bargained for and could potentially be a hazard to her health.


It is not until she meets the leader of the Unidentified does she start to get some answers and confusion along the way. She is being watched closely by the sponsors and a lot is at stake.


YA Dystopian Recommended
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