I am stuck in a turbulent sea of thoughts that I cannot escape nor find how to process into full thoughts. It has been a six month lull. So far there is no clear way to go. I keep treading water …trying to keep my head above the rising waves before I drown but every day I am becoming more and more unsuccessful.
There are so many things that I want to do but am not dedicating the time to do them. I have diligently become more aware of the state of my health and have been participating in 5K’s, walk-jogs and even a physical fitness boot camp three days a week. Physically I am looking and feeling better and was hoping that this would help with the balance that I feel that I am missing.
I have included yoga to find my inner focus but it is slowly coming to me to want to participate in my writing. I know that I could have potential if I could just focus and put my mind to it, but the ADD side of me keeps getting distracted around every corner and look for a way out by losing myself in reading a book with a great cup of coffee.
There was a time that I would get up every day and look forward to grabbing a pen and paper and writing until I ran out of ink, because I never seem to run out of things to say – only how to put into words eludes me. I want to congratulate all of you that keep following your dreams. I see some of you finding publication and success and others finding the word counts keep coming. I am silently stalking you and dwell on the beauty of your passion for writing. You are writers, colleagues, friends… I know that someday my coast guards will come and fish me out of the ocean and help me row my boat with great intensity until my words have formed meaning.
I have challenged myself to NANOWRIMO. If I don’t try, then I have already failed.
There is a quote on my wall that I keep looking at and willing myself to follow it. It goes likes this:
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
What do you want your destiny to be???