Creepy Little Muse & Recognition!

The Creepy Little Muse keeps dancing by me in my dreams every night making it impossible to sleep sometimes. I swear she haunts me sometimes. I call her chaos, because that is what she makes my mind.

Last night as I was trying to sleep, she crept by my bed brushing the covers just enough to wake me up so that I could see her dash me and head out toward the other room. Damn, sometimes she freaks me out and sometimes she just pisses me off. I don’t sleep much the way it is, but she doesn’t make things any easier.

Yes, I sound absolutely crazy and sometimes feel that way…but if it weren’t for Chaos whispering things in my ears at night then I wouldn’t have so many insane stories that I am trying to write. That is both a positive and a negative because she thinks that I’m a super genius that can type 1000 words per minute and get things on paper fast.

She doesn’t understand that family comes first and I always have to jot things down and come back to them and work when I can. My family has been keeping my very busy again so writing is something that I try to do if I get some spare time. I have been freehand writing a lot and translating it into the computer for the past few days.

I honestly can say that I do feel like I am getting things done. But with a few family setbacks, it is hard to keep up. I am working on getting internet back at the house. Yay! Won’t that be fun? I will be able to keep up with blogs better and keep doing my research for my books that I am working on.

For now the family is all doing fine. My mother is in surgery this morning getting her fistula replaced. She had one last year but it has to be replaced. She is going to have to start going back to dialysis. For those of you who aren’t familiar with my family…well, they like to keep me on my toes. If it isn’t one thing it is another. So thank you to all of my friends who have sent me well wishes and a speedy recovery for mamma.

I want to tell everyone that I am very proud of their accomplishments that I have been reading about on the blogs. Some have works out for partials and full requests. Some have completed their manuscripts and some are editing like the wind. I am PROUD of all of you. You all work really hard and do a really great job.

On a sad note, I won a contest before Christmas…a copy of MATCHED! Well needless to say, I have never received it. *tears streaming* I was really looking forward to reading the book. So mister post office man—Please give me back my book or get it to me for criminy sakes. The only contest I have ever won and the postal service can’t even get me my book. (DEVESTATED)

I look forward to reading up more on your adventures and progress as we all grow as writers – novice, published…doesn’t matter. You are the reason I read books. I commend you. Best Wishes!

What is your favorite holiday?

Image via Wikipedia

Since I just wrote about my favorite month being OCTOBER, I have to tell you about my favorite holiday…*drum roll* Yeah, I know I already told you in the last post it was Halloween, but I was just checking to see who was really paying attention.

Yes, I love Halloween. I love to decorate with all the stringy cobwebs, ghoulish décor and scary music. I have more Halloween decorations than Christmas decorations…go figure. I love every aspect of it. I don’t scare easily and love the horror films, terrifying books, ghost rallies and tractor rides.

My daughter’s birthday is in late October and every year since she was little we always had a huge Halloween themed party to celebrate…bobbing for apples, flashlight tag with the occasional scary man in the woods (hubby) coming after you and the occasional friendly cop coming out and flashing his lights upon the horrifying set up. Lol

Ok, ok, it was never the ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, but boy would I love for it to be. Now the kids are older, 17, 15, 15, 13 and 6. Now the 6 year old won’t be able to participate in most of the gore if I turn the barn into a bloody nightmare, but the older ones can. (Yes, in case some of you don’t know me…I have a dark side. She can be very dark and evil. But for all intents and purposes I try to keep her locked away for everyone’s safety.)

I’ve never had adult Halloween parties because I just haven’t had time; I focus all of it on the kids. I have thought about it several times and have talked about it to the hubs. But Halloween if for the kids…for now.


So tell me what is your favorite holiday...Christmas, Easter, St. Patty's Day or Valentines?

What is your favorite month? Why?

Yep, it is writing prompt time again. I haven’t done it for awhile since I have been slammed with life and editing so I am going to throw my little brain for a loop and let it seethe with something different for a change.

Well…we are now in my favorite month. OCTOBER. There are so many things about October that make me love this month. Starting with the fact that here in Indiana the trees start to change colors. The hues of the leaves are breath taking around this time of year and the air is a little more crisp and clears my head.

I am a sweatshirt and jeans kind of girl so this type of weather makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. It is also such a welcoming feeling to be able to come outside and sit in the swing and write for awhile without being chased by bugs, or get too hot and sweaty.

This is also the time of year that I take fall picture of the kids. We take our own pictures here on the farm because I am too cheap to pay for the expensive school pictures. Yep, I am. And when you have a big family (5) like I do, you know that adds up. So, you can see that I love my kiddos enough to make sure that they are photographed appropriately. Lol.  They pick their own places and most of their own poses. 

Brandon

Brittany

Sadie

Tanner

Logan

Lastly I love October because it contains my favorite holiday…Halloween. Yep, love the spooky stuff. But that is another post all in itself.

So do you have a favorite Month? If so which one and why?

My Ground Hog’s Day Spectacular…with 50 First Dates!

Have you ever felt like you are trapped in the same day – everyday and that there is no escaping it?  I have. It is not always the same day everyday…most of it is the same—just small variations make adjustments of the outcome.

If you have every watched Bill Murray in “Ground Hog’s Day”, you may have been amused…even laughed a couple times or through the entire movie. I wish that it were that simple to laugh about.

*DEEP BREATH*

For those of you who are not familiar with my life, let me explain to you that my husband was injured three years ago in a construction accident. He was hit in the head (while wearing a hard hat – thank goodness!) with a 9 foot steel beam that fell 12 feet.

They diagnosed him with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He suffers from continuous pain that is sort of like a migraine, short term memory issues, behavior issues, and blanks out to where he sort of spaces out and walks around and ends up in places that he does not remember going. This has resulted in him not being able to hold a job or drive. Plus they just told us this is all permanent and he is unfixable.

So when I say Ground Hog’s Day that relates to his short term memory. If you have ever watched “50 First Dates” with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler…then understand that he is my Drew. Once he goes to bed, the slate wipes clean and we start over. He is supposed to keep a journal so that he knows what happened, but doesn’t always do that. So for those of you who have had a marital spat…try having the same one three days in a row because your husband forgot that you told him something or forgot that you already had that fight.

Things have been hard on us for awhile now with this work related injury alone…but I must keep going because we have five children. Two are his, two are mine and one if ours together. His daughter lives with her mother and the other four live with us. Well that was up until two months ago. My 16 year old daughter moved out and moved in with her father because she couldn’t be in the same house with my husband’s behavior issues or lack of good behavior. This broke my heart but I am dealing thinking that the medications that they are giving my husband will eventually help him and we will get him in a good place. In the mean time…I miss my daughter terribly.

One minute he is supportive of my writing, the next he is tearing the internet satellite out of the ground with the tractor…so for those of you that I was beta reading for—it is not that I was trying to slack—I love the work you are doing and it is all brilliant and hope that you send me more. I just had to start trying to squeeze things in on my lunch hours and at breaks at work. I even got an iPhone with internet…

I can come home and if he is bored from staying home he will rip a room apart to be remodeled and then I am stuck with cleaning up a mess and spending all of my free time redoing a room. So he is a box of chocolates because you never know what you are going to get when you go home. He could be nice, sweet, loveable, bitter, jealous, rude…basically my own Jekyll and Hyde.  So if there are any of you out there that have a loved one that is suffering with a traumatic brain injury, you are not alone. I know how you feel and may know what you go through.

So when I say I am muddling through…that is what I am trying to do. So tell me my wonderful faithfuls that keep me motivated and that I adore very much…have you ever had anything that you would call your groundhog’s day or even have the same dream over and over again?

Of course you know this is why I have so many raw emotions to use in my writing and so many ideas. Writing is my escape and it has saved me more times than I can count. It keeps me sane.

Sorting through the sludge

Do you ever have so much going on that you have to sort through all the things around you and prioritize?  That is what I have been working on for the past two weeks. Hectic sports schedules and being away from home make writing a challenge…but even more challenging is not having internet.

I have been without internet for over two months and it is making things difficult. I have to wait until I am somewhere that I can download files in order to do my beta reading and some of my other networking things. I did get myself an IPhone with internet, but it is not always easy to read on there nor do some of the documents that I would love to be doing instead of sitting through an hour and half football practice.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch my son practice…but, it is very time consuming to be away from the computer.  I really haven’t worked on the projects that I have been promising myself that I would work on…but I am getting to that.

I admire those who are more organized and structured than I am. I used to be very controlled and structured, but I think that for me I fell off the organization wagon after my husband was injured. He can be very time consuming also when we have to travel an hour and half to go to his therapy sessions and other doctors treating him.

So tell me…do you need a little more organization in your life?  Are there things that take over from time to time and leave you stranded like sports or other activities? How late do you stay up to get things done?

Holiday and Holland...who would have thought??

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Since this is a long weekend for me because my office is going to be closed on Monday, I am going to take advantage of the time off and spend time with some family that is coming over from Holland.

My husband's family are coming over for a visit. It is his Aunt Gusta. I can't wait to meet her, I am so excited. I really want to get the chance to go there and visit with her in Amsterdam as well some day.

I am also hoping to get some writing done and editing. I have another book idea floating around in my head but have a lot of unfinished business to take care of as well.

Also has anyone heard from our wonderful friend Laura Kaponer?? I haven't heard from her for some time and am missing her. So if anyone is in communico with her please tell her hello and that I miss her. Thank you.

Also, I did splurge and buy myself the purdiest little gadget...the iphone 4. I love it so. I am obsessed with it already and I have never owned one before. Please, no negative comments...let me enjoy my high. Now I can be internet friendly from my phone. Yeah.

Alright my precious friends. Please be careful and enjoy your holiday and weekend.

I have lost me…

I got to thinking the other day and let me tell you…ohmebegez. Once I start it doesn’t stop for like three days – promise.

So I was pondering all the work I am attempting to put into my edits as I keep getting non-stop ideas (like volcano eruption – just keep writing until it crusts up). Then I also love and mean totally LOVE to beta read for people. I read and try to keep a blog. (as you can see) I am trying to twitter and email and network and keep up with where I started on Writer’s Digest…

Then there’s the peanuts football practices Monday, Tuesday, & Thursday nights. Volleyball games Tuesday & Thursday nights. Football games – J.V., Varsity and Peanuts – Monday, Friday Nights & Saturdays.  No joke!

So here it is the second week of school and already it looks like the only night we don’t have sports is tonight – WEDNESDAY – fabulous Wednesday night. As I look at trying to edit so that I can actually …maybe one day send my manuscript out to shop for an agent. Beta reading, writing, blogging, following blogs, tweeting, following tweets, and worrying about my following – “Am I entertaining enough?”

I’m so caught up in building a platform that I am losing me. Not to mention that my routine is a little insane and after sports I still have to check homework before I can play with my friends.

I just want to say ‘hang in there’. I’m not complaining or making excuses. I LOVE MY LIFE. It’s just a little bumpy like every one else’s. We all have our moments. Up, down, happy, sad, frustrated, or just plain pissed off.  We’re all human – but I don’t have to tell you that right? Ahem! Right?? Kidding.

However, my brain got a little rattled…okay. A lot. But it will get a jump start and back into action very soon. More ideas are getting thrown to paper so maybe they will show up here. Who knows. Until then, take care of you.

Do you have old cake mixes in your cabinets? Pitch ‘em!

I had a friend email me this the other day and I wanted to share with all of the other mom’s out there to help protect their precious angels and family members. This actually creeped me out knowing that this can actually happen.

A student at HBHS (high school) had pancakes this week and it almost became fatal.  His Mom (registered nurse) made him pancakes, dropped him off at school and headed to play tennis. She never takes her cell phone on the court but did this time and her son called to say he was having trouble breathing. She told him to go to the nurse immediately and proceeded to call school and alert the nurse. The nurse called the paramedics and they were there in 3 minutes and worked on the boy all the way to the hospital. He came so close to dying. Evidently this is more common then I ever knew. Check the expiration dates on packages like pancakes and cake mixes that have yeast which over time develop spores. Apparently, the mold that forms in old mixes can be toxic! Throw away ALL OUTDATED  pancake mix, brownie mixes, Bisquick, cake & cookie mixes, etc., you have in your home.

P.S. Tell this to your children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces and anyone else who keeps these types of mixes in the cupboard.

P.P.S.  This warning especially applies to any person(s) with mold allergies.

This is confirmed on Snopes : 

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/pancake.asp

PLEASE remember to check your cupboards when you get home tonight!!! Because I know what I will be doing tonight before editing my MS…

Volleyball Season is in Session...Whoot!

Last night our girls had their first volleyball scrimmage of the season. That officially kicked off the season. They played for two hours. About four different matches and different types of scrimmages. It was awesome. GO SEEGER! WHOOT! WHOOT ! It was an eye opening experience and one that made me realize that I really need one of those comfy cushiony thingys for my rump that was numb for an hour after that.

Bleachers are not made for comfort. I kid you not...Some may look pretty, but they are tricky little flat demons that pain your tail bone on purpose. Anyway. Yeah, can't wait for more games. We have two a week, meaning that my schedule is about to become hectic. Volleyball will be Tuesdays, Thursdays and some Saturdays and football every Friday night. PLUS...yes, there is a PLUS. Little one starts peanut football practice on the 24th and will have practices on some of the same nights that I have volleyball. Can we say crazy?

Lots of coffee and who knows what else (insert any prescription name here)will have to get me through. Maybe that is what is wrong with me lately. I haven't been chaotic enough. I seem to do better under stress. I have slacked off on my writing, editing...ya know, stuff. I am still beta reading and still jotting down ideas and some things for some of the WIPs I am working on, but...I lost motivation along the way. It will find me again though soon, like a stalker in the night sneaking up on its prey. It will find me, oh yes, it will.

And I say BRING IT ON! I am ready for my minions to head off to school and will try to get back on track.

Small prayer

One of the hardest things that I had to do was yesterday.
My ex-husband had a mild stoke and I had to tell my son who had just spent an entire week at his house. Tanner had just came home from his dad's on Sunday and they had a great week together. The man is only 44 years old.

They got to him in time and he is making a phenomenal recovery which is fantastic. But even having to tell my son was so hard, because they are so close. That broke my heart watching his heart ache for his dad. I took him up to the hospital and we sat there with his step mom for several hours and his dad woke up and was able to speak, but had some difficulties because of some of the side effects with the right side of his face going slack.

Today all his tests came back normal and it looks like he was very lucky. While we there, we said a prayer with the hospital pastor that comes around room to room and I believe he had an effect on the recovery process. So thank you God for watching over him and my son. Bless you.

Momma Update

A huge THANK YOU to all of those who had us in your thoughts and prayers. Everything went well and she is back home and doing great. She is already up and moving around walking her dog. She is back on the right track so far. The doctors aren’t certain when we start back doing the dialysis, but I will try to keep everyone posted that wants to know.

I am just glad that I had so many prayers sent my way…that helped a bunch. I believe in the power of prayer. I have had so many well wishes from some of my friends here, and they were powerful to my heart that made me realize that I am lucky to be able to call you friends.

And your families are lucky to have you as well, because you are genuine, honest and caring people who took me in through the writing community and have treated me like family. I just want you all to know that I think you are fantabulous people and think the WORLD of all of you.

They say you never know who your real friends are until something detrimental happens in your life and let me tell you…I would keep everyone of you as friends today, tomorrow, next week…forever.  Big Hugs…you are truly amazing people and today I am blessed. Thank you for allowing me to be in your circle and embracing me with your words.

Take care of you.

Mind in Many Places

I apologize to many of you if my mind is in many places and I do not seem on my game.

My momma is having surgery today. She is having a port put in her arm for dialysis because she is going to have to do it again because her kidneys are just about shot. And they are fixing a hernia that she received when she had to have a feeding tube in her stomach.

Momma had a heart attack a couple years ago and went down hill to where they put in stints to open blocked arteries in her heart and eventually did a valve replacement. Through the process she got an infection and it spread throughout her body-- when to her brain causing lesions and her spine turning parts of it to mush causing her to be bed ridden for 10 months. We almost lost her twice because she also has COPD and has congestive heart failure to where she would just fill up with fluid.

I took care of her for those two years that it took to get her up and running again and it took and emotional, physical toll on me. I had to take her to dialysis twice a week and be at her beckon call when my father and nephew couldn't take care of her. My sisters didn't live in the same town so they were not much help.

I wore down and I have been worried that with another procedure that she may get sick again. I know she needs the port in order for dialysis to remedy the kidney issue for a time, but all I ask is that all of you keep her in your prayers today.

So if I am sporadic, random, lost, brainless or anything else. I apologize. I do try my best to stay connected to the real world outside. Sometimes it is just really hard to do. Ok, sorry for the rambles. Everyone have a wonderful weekend and I hope to talk to you next week. Thank you and take care of you.

TGIAO 'Thanking God it's almost Over!!'

Fair week that is..

My step son shows pigs for 4-H which consumes most of my week. Preparing them, transporting them and maintaining them for the week at the fair grounds. I am exhausted already and my son does most of the work.

Last year he showed just one pig and won Grand Champion for his show. This year, he had the idea to show a whole litter (four pigs). Wow. That is not as easy as he thought it would be. Regardless, he won Reserve Champion for his classes and we are very proud of him.

Here is a pic of him and the litter.

These little piggies go to market on Saturday night. My step-son Brandon is in the maroon shirt with white stripes. He raises Landrace. We purchase them when they are younger from one of the local breeders and feed them and grow them out until fair.

It is something fun for him and all of the family pitches in to help out which is nice too. We are all supportive of each other so this is a great experience.

Soon this will all be over and I will hopefully be back to writing and getting back to everyday life. So until I can get back to normal, take care of you. Thank you for all of my new joined friends for stopping by. I appreciate the support, and if I am not already following yours, I will be soon. Thanks.

Migraine Suffers I sympathize

I am about half out of my mind at this point. I am having several people carefully screening over my MS showing all of my muck ups and am trying diligently to fix them and get it in tip top shape.

With a killer migraine that I suffer from often, I just want to shut myself off from the world for a couple of hours…OK, I LIED. Days would be better. It is hard to stay focused and controlled when fighting these. The doctors try to manage them with medications, but sometimes I get so side tracked with all the things that I am trying to do (ie: with work full time, family (five kids 16, 15, 15, 13, 6), injured hubby (see below ***) and of course………Writing. That I sometimes forget to take it. {ALL OF THIS MAKES ME MORE CREATIVE…..I HOPE!!}

Today I am to blame. It will cost me a couple of days and I need to kick my own ass if the migraine wasn’t already doing a great job. Anyone who suffers from them, you know what I am talking about. DARK HOLE, here I come. Climbing down in to hide for several hours. It is best if I just pass out unconscious.

Hubby wants to go workout at the gym tonight, so I don’t know when I will get to the dark hole. Don’t judge yet. ***Hubby comes first, because he, unlike me, was injured three years ago in a construction accident and can no longer drive or work because he has moments where he blanks out causing him to (if he were driving …he would wreck.) or sometimes he takes a walk and ends up out in the middle of our field. He also suffers from short term memory issues. (Let me tell you this helps give me a lot to write about also).

So when hubby is stranded at home all day and cannot go anywhere until I get there to take him, then it is my duty to take him where he wants to go. He needs exercise too. I love him to the ends of the Earth and that means that I can endure the migraine until he gets his workout in.***

Enough about my pity party. I know from now on I need to take my meds. Crazy biznatch shouldn’t forget anymore, but any of you that know me knows that I will forget occasionally because that is the nature of the beast.

Best of luck to all of my writer friends out there…keep it going and keep it strong and remember to take care of you.

~Regina

What is something that you are optimistic about?

Something that I am optimistic about is that no matter what happens in life my family and I will be just fine. I have dreamed that someday I will be able to publish one or all of the novels that I write but that is something that may or may not happen in my lifetime. However, I know that without that happening I am content with my life the way it is just being able to write my manuscripts and have the love and support of my family the entire journey.
I told my husband that no matter what, I would get them all printed at least once for my own private library to have to look at on the shelf to appease my own lust to see them in bound form. I know that would make me just as happy as if they were printed for real and on every bookshelf around the World.
The love and support of my family makes me optimistic for so many things in my future. I know because of them that even if I don’t make it as a novelist that I am a well respected writer in their eyes and they appreciate the work that I put into my craft. They see how passionate I am about writing and try to help with whatever they can and that is what makes me so positive about my future.

What is something I do well?

If there is something that I can brag about myself that I do well it is take care of my family. I am a multitasker of sorts. Between my husband and myself, we are a combined fascinating accumulation of 7 distinct personas. There is my husband, Brad whom is in his third year of recovery from and injury on the job site where he was hit in the head with a fourteen foot steel beam. Thank God for hardhats that he is still with me! He has not been able to return to work nor drive for the past two and a half years and he gets stir crazy around the house creating projects for us to work on. Lord knows he is my very own box of chocolates. I never know what I am walking into when I get home. He has short term memory issues and has episodes where he blanks out from time to time making him another child that needs a babysitter. (Thank you to all of my gracious friends that come and help look out for him when I am working.) Without Brad being able to drive that leaves me the only driver to get the kids to school, appointments and sporting events. I use a lot of gas and run up a lot of miles on the roads.

My oldest daughter, Sadie is sixteen. She drives and is gainfully employed by choice of mother dearly. Mommy makes her pay for her insurance. Yeah, I know what a meanie I am. She sometimes thinks that she is older than she really is but that is because I had to raise her by myself for the first seven and a half years. Her father finally stepped in about four years ago and they seem to be getting those missed years ironed out. I love her but she makes me want to pull my hair out at times. She is very active in Volleyball and softball which the season is about to start. She is a Varsity third base and Junior Varsity shortstop. Lots of games I will be attending.

My step-son, Brandon is fifteen and had ADHD. Brandon has lived with us since he was in the first grade and we have helped him excel in school despite his disability. He is no Einstein mind you, but he holds his own. He is very active in sports like football and wrestling (season just ended) and is doing 4-H where he is showing hogs. So we have been working on getting the barn ready for them to be delivered.

My son, Tanner is fourteen. He is into computers and video games and knows how to help his dad work on car engines. He is quieter and is not into sports but makes up for it in intellect. He does play sports socially with his friends and would make one hell of a quarterback if he wanted to. The kid really does have a great arm on him. He is always the first one to help me around the house and the last one to complain about it.

My step-daughter Brittany is thirteen and lives with her mother in Illinois. She comes over every other weekend to visit. We try to keep up with her sports and music recitals when possible but is not always easy to do when you live over 30 miles apart and the times are an hour different. She plays softball and basketball and sings in choir sometimes. She used to play soccer and has talked about starting volleyball next season.

Then there is our six year old Logan. He is in Kindergarten and keeps us very busy all of the time. He still pretty full time wants all of our attention, but the older kids have been great helping me out by keeping him so that I can run out to the store by myself at times. He loves to play outside running on our 14 acre farm playing with the chickens and our dog. He will also helps with chores of collecting the eggs and stacking fire wood. I do have to be careful with him because he like Brandon and Brad are highly allergic to poison ivy which doesn’t help living in the country. This kid amazes me everyday with his new vocabulary, his imagination when he plays independently with toys or his hand and eye coordination on his video game.

With all of this said, I guess that I do a pretty good job balancing everyone out and keeping everyone grounded. Or maybe they keep me grounded. I feel that taking care of all of them is something that I do well. Maybe not great, but well and it seems to get us by. So I amaze myself for when I find the time to work on several manuscripts and work a full time job too. They are my backbone and I love them all dearly. They are my life. Everything else is just a luxury. They are the necessity.