Something that you dislike about yourself?

Here I am working with creative writing prompts trying to find out how to become a better writer. Here is the first one that I am going to work on today. Something that I dislike about myself. Now this could be a real treat to those of you who know me and could probably help me name more than a dozen things. However, I have to do this one on my own. I feel a bit squeamish to do this to myself.

One of the things that I dislike about myself is my honesty to myself about my talent toward my craft. I can delude myself into thinking that I am a brilliant writer one day and then the next tell myself that I should never pick up a pen again. This is a self conflicting battle that I am sure many of us face on a daily basis. I do not lack the courage to do what I love, but lack the courage to put myself out there for others to judge from time to time.

That is why I find it so hard to post anything in forums. I know that there are people out there willing to help me but I get myself so worked up about what they are going to tear apart of the work that I love so much. I have to remind myself that it is only their opinion and that not all opinions are the same either. So one person may hate my character, story line and perhaps my entire book; but for that person out there that dislikes my work there may be one that appreciates it.

I lack the faith in myself to see what others have to say about my work. I am not worried about anyone stealing my ideas. Just that I am not ready to be judged. With that said I read posts all the time and cannot judge anyone else because I have no authority to judge them. I am no agent, editor, or publisher to tell them whether or not their book is any good. I can only tell them if I can relate to it or not. I see how easy it is for others to go into detail telling others what to change or where to move paragraphs and I just read it thinking to myself that there is no way that I could have thought of that.

So my lack of faith in myself and the ability to do my craft is what I need to work on and plan to work on as I work on self discovery as I continue working on my manuscripts and story ideas and maintain my life the best that I can.