What would happen if animals could talk? What are some of the questions that you would ask them?

I thought it was time for something a little less serious for a moment from my list of prompts. So what would happen if animals could talk? I bet we would get a lot of ‘are you gonna finish that?’ when we are eating at the cookouts. So does that mean that when my dog is outside and someone pulls up that she doesn’t know and she starts barking it would be more like.
“Who – the – heck – are you?”
“What do – you – want?”
Or when someone is walking down the road too close to the yard.
“Get the – hell – away – from my – yard – moron.”
I suppose life would be more complicated when you have to start having a two way conversation with your pet when you get back from running errands instead of just coming in and telling them hello and that you missed them and talking to them not really wanting answers or questions thrown back into your face.
“Where did you go, why didn’t you take me with you, what took so long, why didn’t you get the bacon strips?”
Wouldn’t it ruin the movie if they talked to you through the entire thing instead of just sat on your lap or cuddled up next to you? My kids talk and narrate enough; I don’t want my animals doing it too.
However I guess if you could ask them questions then what would you ask? I guess I would ask my dog why they feel the need to clean their beans in front of everyone. I am sure the answer would be something voyeuristic like…’wouldn’t you if you could? Or Jealous!’ I agree that everyone needs to be serviced from time to time but there is a time and a place and the middle of the yard after you just squatted and took a dump is hardly the time. Ok…I’m starting to become very sorry that I chose this topic. This can go in so many directions.
Enough about my dog. My rooster would be saying ‘Get your happy ass up bis-natch.’ And that is repeated several hundred times until you chase him from under the bedroom window where he sits patiently and waits for his moment when you are most comfortably sleeping to start yelling mean – loud verbally disturbing things at you.

Do you have animals? What would they say if they could talk? Any demands they would make or disturbing comments that you are not ready to hear? Let me know…I’m curious.